France, Lille - Day 3

Playing chess with Maxime-um power

Today was a double rounder, meaning I'm totally knackered. Woke up and grabbed some breakfast, then went to do battle with the 2510 GM Maxime Legarde. He'd obviously done his homework and opened with c4, which is an instant win against me. (Or maybe he just got lucky.) The game was interesting I guess, he just played good logical moves and squeezed me. I tried to complicate it but he saw through the trickiness and took the full point. 

For lunch I found a nice little sandwich shop, again with the woman speaking no English. We had a bit of fun trying to work out what was on the sandwiches - Ham is pretty self explanatory, but I had to confirm "Egg" by flapping my arms and doing my best constipated face. She was really cheery and the whole experience and sandwich was pleasing. As I walked out she said "Adieu missour", and I thought it was a lovely way of saying goodbye to someone. (She was probably saying "Don't come back, sir!")

I dodged the decrepit begging scum and made it back to the playing hall for the afternoon's game - Board thirty six against a 1600 Frenchman. He went a little astray early and I managed to get a sizeable advantage quite quickly. I won the game to put me on three points out of a possible four. Tomorrow I play against a 2289 guy as black, should be a bit of fun!

For tea the pizza shop had buy one get one free on medium pizza's. Took a wee while for us both to confirm that it was free, and that the deal wasn't on small pizza's, but we got there. Time for some much needed sleep now. Preparation for tomorrow can wait until the morning.

France, Lille - Day 2

Rekindling my chess Lourve

I was playing against a 2366 International Master today, and I won! Walked home with a big smile on my face and felt awesome. Our game was the last game to finish, and it was probably the best game of chess that 2014 has seen! Just spent twenty minutes trying to get a PGN online viewer to work, It's chucking whites so I'd best leave it and actually try and prepare something for tomorrow.

For tea tonight I got a pizza. I walked into the little take-a-way place and asked if the guy spoke english. He nodded and replied in French, then handed me a menu. I ordered a "Chicken" pizza, and whilst waiting for it, watched the TV that was in the shop. It must have been a comedy that was on - The guy would burst out laughing, then  try and explain the French jokes to me in French. I was so chuffed with the win I just laughed along and made hand gestures like "I understand!". I didn't.

So tomorrow I'm on board five playing against a 2510 Grandmaster. Oh its on!

France, Lille - Day 1

Lille... its not Nice.

I'm in Lille, a wee town in the north east of France. Got here two days ago - And what a two days its been! First off I pride myself on my ability to navigate and book speedily on travelling websites - As tricky as the buggers can be trying to sell you an extra leg room seat for your pet gorilla. So I get to the airport, go through security, up to the gate only to find my boarding pass has speedy boarding on it. The flight attendants amplified voice invites the Priority boarding passengers up, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. On all my previous trips I deliberately try and get to the gate early so I can stare out the pretentious idiots who pay an extra tenner to sit on an aeroplane for ten minutes instead of sitting in the airport for ten minutes. I queued with the average people, hoping the attendant wouldn't notice or say anything. She did. I just giggled, muttered something like "Ryan air wins this time." and hastily made for the plane. 

I was really tired getting onto the plane and I remember looking around as I was queueing, and seeing a Crow land on a barbed wire fence. It makes sense now, but at the time I was really concerned for the crow.

The city of Lille is nice enough - I got here on a Sunday, meaning every shop was closed. I walked about twenty minutes in all directions and couldn't find anything! Eventually had to make do with a McDonald's Tea and no toothpaste. (I'm not complaining, I love McDonald's.)

Got a burger and chips for lunch today - The main square is full of open air food places and restaurants. Its also full of really rude beggars, who literally hold you still in the street with one hand and make the 'spare change' gesture with the other hand. Also I quickly learned not to give a cigarette out - Homeless people here seem to have some sort of inbuilt vulture-istic radar that picks up when a generous person is being generous, and they immediately all flock to that person!

I had to get money out to pay the tournament entry fee - The only cash machine I could find had a beggar sitting either side of it. As I put my card in and pressed the button, the guy was rambling non stop and making the money sign. I told him I had no money at all. As my eighty euros came out the machine I made a quick getaway, pitying him slightly by reminding myself he's going to buy booze and drugs with it. Hang on...

Round One

The first round was today and I beat an 1806 French guy. The game was interesting and I think I played quite well. Tomorrow I've got a 2366 IM. 

Slovakia - Stara Lubovna Day 7

Day 7

Last night I got dragged into the VIP boozed madness again. They'd managed to get a uni-cycle from somewhere, so we all had a bit of fun falling off it. We then moved to the billiard table ("This not pool, pool very different") and played a few games of doubles and had a giggle. I might be making this stuff up, dont really remember any of last night.

Today played against a Slovak 1800. It was an interesting game, I got a good position then followed wrong ideas, but managed to get the win in the end. Tomorrow's the final game of the tournament, then fly back at night. I cant wait to have twenty four hours of soberness. I never thought Mikey G from the Ferrie would ever utter such blasphemy.

Just as I'm about to post this, Tomas and his friends walk over and enquire, "Beer? Pivo? Of course yes!".

Slovakia - Stara Lubovna Day 6

Day 6 

Was a really interesting game today. (Notice how I've perked up because I got a decent result?) I prepared more seriously the night before and it definitely paid off - It was a draw, but I was squeezing him the whole game. The final position I only had five minutes left and I couldn't find the crushing move. I've managed to convert half of Slovakia into the Wa Wa Wee Wa faith, I walked past a few kids playing earlier on and one of them made a big tactical move and shouted "Weeetchie Owwwa!". The Slovak people are really lovely - Everyone I've met I've gotten along with. (And been force fed alcohol.) One of the guys was telling me their unemployment rate is twenty five percent, because of "Fucking government". Its a shame that such a nice bunch of people are getting screwed over so bad. 

Slovakia - Stara Lubovna Day 4 and 5

Day 4

Was a pretty uneventful day. Drew with a 1700 player, not too sure what's going on with my chess but it aint good! Tried to have a quiet night but ended up being forced into a few shots with some Slovak's. The night before I was playing blitz chess for a euro a game against a GM. A few drinks were had and it got quite heated (Both the chess and the verbal exchanges). Think it finished 7 - 1 in favour of him, which considering my current form, is a smashing result.

Day 5

A morning round. Didn't get much sleep the night before, played a Marshall gambit as black but couldn't really get into it. Draw with an 1800. Had a few hours sleep then went and got tea. Looked over the game with Eric, then with the computer, don't know why I'm chucking so much.

I know this blog post is about as entertaining as a dead squirrel, but I feel like how William Wallace felt when Robert the Bruce betrayed him - I spend so much time trying to learn this game, to improve and have fun with it, but its pissed off my allegiance and sided with luck (That's even worse than teaming up with the English). 

Got a 2100 player tomorrow as white, need to find some heart, get back on my high horse and put these steel chessticles to use!

Slovakia - Stara Lubovna Day 1, 2 and 3

Day 1 - How much is too much?

Arrived in Stara Lubovna after spending a few days in Krakow, Poland with Richy. Krakow is amazing fun, but since it wasn't technically a chess trip I cant write about it here. (I could, but the filth and debauchery would break my mum's heart and half the subscriber count.) So I got to the hotel in the evening, checked in and went and met Eric Peterson, a friend I made in the Czech Republic and who informed me of this tournaments happening. He sorted me out with access to the VIP area (Yea you heard right.) and we headed for the small room containing the tournament director, the arbiters, a few player's and some of the hotel staff. We played some friendly speed chess and drank the free beer. And the free triple distilled vodka. and the free plum vodka, and the pear vodka, and the radish vodka. A good time was had by all, and by the early hours I was speaking fluent Slovak. (I wasn't really the language is ridiculously hard, I just kept saying "Pivo" over and over again, which means beer.) Around three o'clock people are considering bed, so we walk outside still chatting and being merry. until one of the players of the tournament just falls over. We giggle a bit, gave him a wee shake, but he's properly unconscious. Someone filled a glass with water and tried to rouse him with it, but he was so drunk he threw it all over the guy next to him! In the end someone had to call an ambulance and the guy was taken away in a stretcher! Cracking night!

Day 2 - Chess Rock

I woke for my game the next day feeling a bit off. I managed to win it quite quickly which was nice, allowed me to go back to sleep for a few hours. Then Eric and I headed out to a Bowling restaurant, and we bowled and had some food with Mikhail and Lisa (Her name isn't Lisa, but I cant remember the Slovak Lisa word). Was actually quite good fun, managed to get two strikes! Me and Eric headed back to the hotel, hoping to get a quiet night, only to be told its one of the organisers birthdays, so everyone trooped back to the VIP room and got ridiculously drunk and ate chocolate cake. One of the stronger players of the tournament (Tomas, 2300 Elo) magicked a guitar, and began playing and singing various english classics and some Slovak specialities. He was incredible - It turns out he finished in 7th Place on Slovak's got talent, out of 16,000 people that entered! Another cracking night was had singing songs, drinking everything, and playing terrible blitz chess. 

Day 3 - Burnout

Was playing against Eric today. He's an FM, and he plays good, logical chess, and he's sitting next to me and understands English. The game was interesting - I pursed a silly idea, but managed to hold it together until a few silly moves at the end. I'm going to try and dodge the VIP room tonight. Nah who am I kidding? Pivo!