London Classic Day 3 and 4

Day 3

Was playing against a 2300 FM, Terry Chapman. Was an equal position, I made a few moves and beat myself up about it. Ended up losing. It was annoying - But I saw Hikaru Nakamura (One of my heroes, the chess equivalent of Zinedine Zidane!) so it wasn't all that bad. 

Had tea at a Persian restaurant with Clements and Neil. Was very tasty!

Day 4

Played against a 1935. Won the game, though the opening was a bit rough. This post is a bit rubbish - I'm really tired and cant be bothered to think up any funny stuff. Top bunk has a new lodger, though he came in when I was still at chess and he's asleep now. I'm hoping its a really attractive female who just happens to have hairy legs and a deep snore. Stranger things have happened.

Tomorrow the main event starts. (The top chess players play a rapid tournament.) Me and Clements are going to head down early to watch them play and shout abuse. My own game is against a 2250 German, So I'm going to prep a bit then sleep.

Oh yea, I saw Alex Zane today too! Sooo cool!

London Classic Day 2

It was looking Drorish, But I won :D

Played against an 1835 player today called Levi Dror. The game was drawish for too long - my opening was passive and lame, anyway we got to move 20, I created complications which made it hard for him, and he slipped up and lost.

Went to the pub after to meet Clements, Grassie and Neil. We talked about the differences between 9.99999999999999999 and 10, and how many qwabillions Grassie earns in an hour. Had a nice dinner in Pizza express, another pint then headed home.

Finnish Jason and Irish Naill left us this morning, to be replaced by German Monica and Frieda. Their bubbly germans, their English isn't great but that makes for funnier conversations. 

In the playing hall today I saw Garry Kasparov! Was quite an amazing moment - I always imagined him as ten feet tall, consuming his enemies with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightening from his arse - But actually he's just a normal guy!

For the rest of the week the rounds start at half four. Got a 2300 FM, so going to get some sleep, prep tomorrow morning, then win!

London Classic Day 1

It was all goin' fine, till ma bishop got Hembden.

Didn't feel so good this morning - mixture of nerves, lack of sleep, insert another excuse here. Was playing against GM Mark Hebden. I think I played ok - no ridiculously stupid errors, he just ground me down slowly and pressured each mistake more and more. 

The venue is totally awesome - All participants get an ID badge which entitles you to three free beers and a trip backstage to meet the bands. (That's made up - there's no alcohol or music, but you feel like a total legend walking about with an ID badge around your neck.)

Headed back to the hostel immediately after the game, had some food, and am now just lounging about trying to wind up Malaysian Jvnyi. ("That's a really cool name, but could I just call you Craig? Or Scott?" "Hmmm... No.")

Finnish Jason was talking in his sleep last night in Finnish. Or it could have been Irish Niall. Either way I thought it was kinda cool.

Tomorrow I've got an 1850 Isreali, hopefully ill play better and write a funny / more upbeat post tomorrow.

London Classic - Pre-tourney day 1

Underground No No.

A hostel for 10 days in London - what could possibly go wrong? Yesterday I flew from Prague, to Edinburgh, to London. That's fine, flying's fun right? Oh yay a bus ride into central London - easy and relaxing. Boom. Metro Time.

The names of the different tube stops are carved in Elvish into massive moss-engrossed pillars, Which would make it really tough to find out where you were, but since everyone is constantly moving, you just kind of get swept up and dragged like Mufasa did when he was trying to save Simba in the stampede.

Then you've got to decipher if your going north bound, west bound, north north bound west, up down left right A B and start bound, its a total bloody nightmare.

After atleast 30 minutes in the station, and constant, panicking phone calls to Scarlett the Harlett, I found the hammersmith train, spoke friend, and entered.

Abercorn Hostel. 

So I arrive at the hostel, tired, get signed in and that, and come up to my room. Room 110. Crackin' wee room, started on my lonesome, just lay down and kinda dozed. Irish Niall joined about two hours later - he seems really sound, he's here doing some sort of muscle therapy course. His accent is really thick, so i don't understand like 95% of what he says.

An hour later Finnish Jason joined us. Turns out hes doing the same course as Niall - so they sat and spoke about it for a while, or atleast I think they did.

Not sure if I had a shower today or not - You need to hold a button in to keep the water running, which makes washing your hair near impossible. I tried to jam the button in, that didn't work, then I tried standing at a weird angle and holding it in with my side, and almost slipped and died. The water's hot enough though, and its clean.

The first game starts tomorrow - Cant wait to see everyone and play some chess!

Mallorca, Alcudia - Days 7 and 8 (finale)

the past few days are a bit of a blur - Early starts, double game days and prepping non stop.

Day 7

Double game day. With only getting a few hours sleep I knew the morning game would be difficult - I did a little prep, but thought heck, ill just keep it simple and enjoy it. Half ten start, shake hands, and the guy knocks out a Muzio gambit. I've never played it over the board, and never would again! For non chess people,basically white sacrifices a knight (Thats kinda a bit deal in chess) to get a massive attack, and if you don't play really carefully you just get mauled. I managed to defend it and win, but there was errors by both sides. Had a good lunch and tea, and was back to play against an English FM Chris Duncan.

I chose an offbeat opening for the second game, and didn't really understand the position we got to. Thats the best thing about chess - You can spend weeks studying one opening, understanding its theme's and tactics, then go into a slightly different position and it all changes completely! He won convincingly and I was pretty cheesed off. 

The only funny moment was in the dinner queue, there was a family infront with two boys. The younger one was lightly kicking and punching the older one in a jokey about way, both of them laughing. The younger one must have taken it a step too far, because the older one turned round and absolutely walloped him in the face, knocking him to the ground. The parents didn't find it half as amusing as the rest of the queue.

  Day 8

The final day. A half nine start today. Didn't have time to prepare, but I managed to nip into the shop before the game and get my paprika Pringle's and chocolate chip cookies. My opening was a bit of a mess, but I liked how the game turned out. I got a good advantage and was pressing, but couldn't find the killing blow. Ended up chucking a piece in time trouble, but getting a few pawns for it and finally got a draw in a complete blunderfest. 

Me and peter stayed for the prize giving (Even though neither of us had won anything) But the whole thing was in Spanish, so it was basically smile and clap when everyone else clapped. Peter had to leave shortly after, so we said our goodbyes, agreed I was the stronger chess player, and went our seperate ways. I headed back to my balcony - The European Club Championship had just started and Scotland has two teams in it, so I watched that. 

This blog post is bit boring, I'm sure there were some funny things to report but my minds gone blank. Had a thirteen hour sleep last night and still feel tired. Overall totally fab tournament - Definitely coming back next year, I feel like my chess has improved 100% - I see the board in a whole new way! That's it really, going to go get lunch, sort out the transfer bus tomorrow then just chill on my balcony. The end of another adventure!

Mallorca, Alcudia - Day 6

Day 6

I've been spending hours trying to come up with ingenious puns and funny euphemisms - but to no avail.

Another average day. Had geniune chicken dippers for lunch - along with chips, sweetcorn and Spanish omelette (its like an omelette only bigger and creamier!). Thought id go for it and try a bit of sword fish, but papped it.

Walking to the game tonight I passed a family who had bought them light up flying thingy-ma-bobs from the looky looky brigade. I think it was their first time firing them because they both looked unsure - the dad and the son. The son's shot into the air, then the propeller bits span round and it gently floated down to the ground. The dads shot was more powerful, and for some reason the propellers of his one didn't work - meaning gravity worked its magic and it plummeted, cracking as it hit the ground. I was in stitches!

The game tonight was interesting - I prepped really well, only to forget how to continue at the sharpest bit. Ended up getting a small advantage, which turned into a winning endgame, but I messed it up so bad. A draw was the final result. Double game day tomorrow so I'm going to try and get some sleep. If anyone want's to help the Grovester's cause phone my mobile at 8 am UK time (I've already text you mum, you should know this.)

Mallorca, Alcudia - Day 5

Day 5

Was a good day! Me and peter hit the beach to lap up some rays, its a lovely place and was actually quite quiet. We took a board, but little prep was done. (The chessboard was mainly to attract the chicks.) Its a bit worrying that all the tourist shops in Spain sell massive, hand-carved phalluses on keyrings. Must make for a few awkward family conversations. ("Son, you can have anything in the shop APART from a lazer pen.") 

Had a massive tea when we got back, then hit up the playing hall. I won my game, had a slight advantage from the opening but he made a mistake in time trouble allowing me to win it. Peter C is totally dominating, I think he's going to win the tournament. 

I've made friends with a few looky looky men and Claudia the cleaner, though I still sit in when she's cleaning the room because deep down I don't fully trust her.

Slightly worrying, just had a knock at the door, and when I've gone to open it no-one was there - but they've slipped a Nuts magazine under the door. 

Best result I've had all week!

Mallorca, Alcudia - Day 4

Day 4

The temperature was soaring and I got my usual wake up call ("Kids, You wanna play Water polo meet here 10 minutes!") around ten. Went to get breakfast / lunch, was quite quiet. Turns out the chicken dippers are actually breaded squid. Shuffled some onto my plate but my conscience kicked in before I could finish them.

Played Blitz games on the Internet chess club all day, didn't bother preparing anything solid because I didn't feel that great. I'm not sure if its the copious amounts of tap water I'm drinking or the squid, or a mixture of both. 

The game tonight was interesting to say the least - My position was unpleasant, so I went for some whacky complications and came out better. I made a mistake in time trouble, and thankfully, he made one back. It ended a draw. One point out of four - Its the experiance that counts right? Walked back to the apartment complex in relative peace, gave a drunk Spaniard a cigarette, and played a few more blitz games.

Mallorca, Alcudia - Day 3

Day 3

Its actually day 4, because I fell asleep last night. Anyway...

I just spend 45 minutes trying to come up with a really good joke - then remembered I should probably be preparing something chess wise. I was to play against a Russian 2160. Not the highest rating in the world, but hes Russian, which we joke adds 100 points to your grading and makes you heartless at the board. I tried to play a benoni, which quickly turned into a benono, and in time trouble i messed it up and lost. The endgame was really quite instructive - Its deceptively tricky. (Sorry non chess people)

As black, I thought I could sit my pawns on c5 and d5 and he couldn't make progress. Then I wrestled with playing c4 and d5 - Ke5 - d4 then running the king back, but turns out its just total bollocks and completely lost.

 So, half point out of 3. This tournaments approach is quickly turning from a Swiss gambit into a piss gambit!

Mallorca, Alcudia - Days 1 and 2

What do you call a spanish cow thats on fire? A Flamen'co!

Not just a pretty face. 

Day 0 (Travel day)

And so we begin at Prestwick airport. Flight was a bit rubbish - It seemed half of Scotland wanted to visit Spain, making for a very full plane and a lot of baby screaming noise. Landed and got on the transfer bus. The advertisement said it would take about  an hour - google maps claims its only a 36 minute journey, ended up taking two hours. Got to the hotel and spent another hour in reception. Bored of writing this bit, future blog posts wont include a Travel day. (I spent longer devising this than I did my cracking joke.)

Day 1 (The first day)

Got rudely awoken around 10am by some holiday rep Spaniard screaming something about children slaying a dragon over a very loud sound system. Horrendous holiday music (Fuck off Abba) is then played until 5pm, its kinda cool! Went for lunch, was a little cautious as the place is busy as hell and it was a buffet with terrible reviews, but the foods hot enough and almost cooked. Plus the selection - Burgers, chips, Burgers and Chips, Burgchips, suits my diet perfectly. 

Met up with Peter Constantiou, Hes staying next complex door, his apartments seem quieter and  less youthful. Went over some chess, he taught me some opening theory, I gave him a giggle suggesting moves, then we marched to the playing hall and played our first game. Played against  a 2254 IM, he tricked me in the opening, so I sacked a pawn and got some play - it was a drawn position but i messed it up in time trouble. Headed to bed to try and sleep, seems like I was the only person in the Bellevue complex who had such intentions. People were partying late, with one Liverpudlian (sp?) moron jumping fully clothed into the pool every fifteen minutes. The swimming pool is only about 20 feet away, so I considered throwing and crushing him with the T.V, then remembered I wasn't Brendan Gleeson. 

Day 2 (The day after the first)

Another boring day really. Sat on the balcony in the 27 degrees heat playing 5 minute blitz online and preparing my game against a WGM. Had a cracking lunch (Either Tuesdays are special days or someone important was in town, because they added chicken dippers to the menu.) then went to the wee shop and bought some chocolate biscuits. My game tonight ended in a draw, I messed it up so bad but she blundered in time trouble. Naturally, she was pretty cheesed off. I considered asking her out for a drink after the game, heck I even wore my cleanest second hand T-shirt, but I don't think it would have gone down too well. Walked back to the apartment with a little spring in my step (She's 350 points higher rated than me), declined an invitation to jump into the tall grass with a group of drunk, crazy foreigneese people (They were all men, I think) and am now back on my beloved balcony. Its quarter past 2 here, a fine time to sleep.

Last 2 Days of Iceland

Golden Circle Tour

Yesterday I went on the Golden Circle tour. I woke up and got ready at half 7 (8) and was picked up at half past. First stop was the bus station, to make sure everyone was on the right buses. I wasnt. I wasnt even going with that company! After some confusion and a few phone calls I was picked up again, and blamed the whole mishap on the previous driver.

The tour bus was small, with nine other people going on the trip. We started off and the guide introduced himself. I'm not going to name him because he was a bit shit, his tone and lack of enthusiasm would have been more suited for a bingo hall, however he did make a few jokes. ("As we pass a mountain with rocks falling down, you will see house. Would you build house there?")

Our first stop was a small nameless town, that used to be quite popular until an earthquake in 2008 split the place in half! Instead of filling in the crack they've put a big glass floor over it, so you can walk over it and look down - Exactly like the scene on demolition man.

Next we stopped at a huge crater, which was nice.

Then a small waterfall. It was quite lovely, the weather was holding out and we had some Jamaicans with the group that cracked me up. Their accent and the way they laugh is just brilliant. 

Then Gullfoss! The mightiest waterfall in the world! It's massive, and you can walk right alongside it. You can actually feel the power of the water as the spray soaks you, it was really quite amazing. The bus driver was quite witty, we got along well, he told the group that the vikings used to take slaves from Scotland. I wanted to jest about the irony of him driving me around for the day, but didn't feel comfortable at all with the slave chat in front of the Jamaicans.

Onto the Geyser Geysir, which was actually really cool. Took a little video, Im going to edit it when I get home and then post it on here. One of the geysers erupted every four minutes. 

Finally we went to the National Park. originally I thought this would be the lamest part of the trip, but the place is absolutely spectacular. The driver walked us through it, telling us of the history as we went. It was incredible. The midge's and mosquitoes really enjoyed it too, as thousands of them followed our group biting us.

Then we drove home. The tour lasted about eight hours, and I'd highly recommend it to all four of you that read my blog ("Hi mum!").

Pictures will be uploaded when I get home - the internet is chucking at the moment.

Final Day

So that brings us to today. I'll hand you over to Jerry for his final thought. The chess was amazing, I could have played better but the experience, especially beating a GM, is truly what will make me a better player. Iceland itself is a beautiful country with a bunch of lovely inhabitants. Ill end this exciting adventure with a quote from the German bible. 

"Und als sie ihn sahen, fielen sie vor ihm nieder; einige aber zweifelten."

"Become a Grandmaster, or die trying."

Competition Day 9 (Final Round)

The Saga draws to an end

So last night was possibly the worst night yet. I was already on edge with Japanese Jenn acting too stereotypical, only to find that Beleruz Brian was to join us. I wasn't sure if Beleruz was a country or a type of meat, anyway this guy plonks himself on the far away top bunk (Far away being two feet.) and falls asleep within seconds. The snoring begins. It sounded like a kettle trying to boil after being given a ecstasy tablet, sat upon an electric double bass. He would drone on for five or ten minutes, then silence. I remember lying their thinking "Please be dead, please be dead." A big gasp of air and the droning continued.

So this morning we awake, and after speaking for a while turns out he's a really nice guy. He gave me 50 rubles as a present (Crude joke censored to appease mother) and then headed off. I headed for chess, and won my game against a 1675 junior. So I finish the tournament on 6 points out of a possible 10, 16th place.

I've booked a tour tomorrow to go round all the best bits of Iceland, so Ill post loads of photo's tomorrow. 

Competition Day 8

Another Borr-ing draw.

The day started off normally. Breakfast, preparation, Lunch, game. The game wasn't very good - the position was interesting, but I definately favoured my opponents position. He offered a draw around move 15 and I accepted, with him saying he thought i was better! (I wasn't, and the computer agree's.)

Cleaning Claire rumoured of three new Room 32'ers. I got back to find the place still empty - perhaps she lied to me. Perhaps her name isn't Claire. So I start going through the game, chilling out, and a key starts jiggling in the door. Chinese Jenn (possibly Ngyen) enters, and we greet each other. She offered me noodles, which I politely declined, then threw an apple at me. ("Eat Apple Mikey".) She said she's going to teach me some Chinese so I can wow all my friends back home in Scotland. Well, when I get home arn't you guys in for a treat!?

Competition Day 7

It's better to be Loki than good.

My 7th day here? Not sure, it's been so different and enjoyable all the days seem to have merged into one. Older Spanish man and French Finn left this morning, leaving me all on my own for the day. Cleaning Claire and her apprentice popped in to change the sheets, and told me no-one was to join me today. Prepared for a few hours, had some weeto's, then headed to the chess hall.

The game was intense. The middle game brought chances for both sides, but i started going astray around move 30 in time trouble. By move 40 I'd completely messed up the position, dropping 2 pawns and going into a lost rook and pawn endgame. I was cheesed off and decided to make him play it out - He returned the messy favour allowing me to draw it! If in doubt, play it out.

The tournament administrators have been posting a blog as well, and I noticed my name in a post the other day. "stórmeistarabanann Michael Grove" is the quote, so with a quick google translate that word in front of my name turns out to mean "Grandmaster's Banana". For some odd reason, I quite enjoy being a top chess players parthenocarpic snack.

I bought six "light" beers on the way up the road, then returned to an empty Room 32. This'll be the first night of the trip I spend alone. Properly alone. Fingers crossed for the Swedish twins.

Competition Day 6

Its getting Better, but its still not Magni-ficent.

I won the game, messed up the opening but he gave me a pawn, and it was tough for him from there. My opponent turned out to be a really nice viking called Oskar, and he gave me a lift to the shop then back to the hostel. He's also offered me some cosier clothes for going to see the glaciers, which is nice.

Our number grew to three as French Finn joined us. He's been climbing mountains on his own for five days. He asked why I here, I told him I was a lion tamer in a travelling circus. Nah I didn't but that kind of stuff is so tempting ha!

Time to prepare for the game today, its against 2006 Oliver Johannesson. Ill be happy tonight if either;

a) I win my game.

b) I lose my game but Swedish twins join room 32.

Competition Day 5

Eileen joined us at 1 am, After her flight was cancelled due to high winds. She was quite literally mad, so fitted right in. She left at 5 in the morning - That's the odd thing about hosteling, your only meeting people for a short amount of time, so you can act totally different or tell a load of lies and get away with it. Naturally, I thrive in this environment.

Ozzy Beth left early too, but wrote me a poem on my GM score sheet. I'm not sure if its pure genius or complete tripe, either way the gesture was well received. The poem's about Giraffes and Oranges, and doesn't rhyme.

My chess game was the most uncomfortable yet, around move 15 I was thinking a draw would be a good result, fortunately my opponent went a bit wrong and I managed to win it.

Felt lonely last night with only me and older Spanish guy in the room, I didn't get much sleep.

This posts a bit rubbish, here's a nice picture of the view from the 20th floor of "The Tower" (I've been trying to hold off with the pictures until its sunny.)

I'll get better photos.

When I reach the building I always stop and look up, waiting for Trinity to jump out the top window fleeing from a pursuing Agent.   

Competition Day 4

I've Thorgotten how to play chess.

FML

1. (Internet slang, vulgar) Fuck my life (expressing despairing annoyance).

Woke up around twelve after not being able to sleep last night, and made some breakfast. Jumped in the shower about half one, came out in my undies to find a new Room 32 lodger. Australian Beth (I guessed she was from Canada, seemed a little insulted) and I sat for the day exchanging travellers tales, jesting about how gay chess is, and arguing wether toads did or did not exist in Australia (They do). Headed off to the chess at half past 4 feeling confident and cheery. I hadn't realised that today, the gods had decided to fuck me.

Outside it was pouring rain with gale force winds. I think i swam / got blown further than i actually walked. Made it to the tournament hall and sat down to play my game. Got confused when my opponent moved one of her pieces in an "L" motion, then remembered this wasn't a Checkers tournament. I lost the game. Lost. No point, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

So after concluding that I'm shit at chess, i start the venture home. The rain is still lashing down, and the wind is... being windy, I stop at a grocery store thinking I'll buy some beer, alcohol always makes everything better. I go in to find some "Light" beer, its like 2.25%. My urine contains more alcohol than that. I ask the store assistant if they have any stronger beer, only to be told I need to buy it from a liquor store. "Okay, wheres the nearest store?" "They are all closed now, they close at 7 pm". I decided 2.25% beer was better than no beer, or urine, so I bought a 6 pack. Although I didn't, because after waiting in a wee queue, with one forming behind, the woman scanned the booze, and asked for 758 Kroner. I reached into my empty pocket. My wallet had fallen out at the Hostel when i was changing my jeans. I apologised and practically ran out the shop.

I continue down the road with the oncoming traffic looking ever more appeasing. I actually forced myself not to look left or right before crossing, hoping some crazy viking O.A.P would knock me down. Turns out they've bastardized the green cross code so that people have right of way when crossing, unless at traffic lights. 

A cigarette to calm the nerves. A gust of wind blew it from my hand into a puddle.

I was waiting for my phone to ring to tell me my parents had spontaneously combusted. Or that my cat had died. (I dont own a cat.)

I got back to the room and started going through my game. I heard a key in the front door, did a little fist pump, and turned around, only to find an older man walk in. "Oh Hi, which bed is free?". 

F. M. L.

Competition Day 3

Lost. That is all.

Only kidding, was pritty gutted after it but the Germans have managed to cheer me up. German Male (nameless for legal reasons) told me he bought 3rd teeth toothpaste - And apart from burning his mouth when using it, gave him a cracking smile.

No pictures today, ill take some tomorrow.

Tag Eins und Drei (Days one and two.)

Competition Day 1:

Woke up about 8 o'clock to a random old man storming into our room demanding the window needed a curtain. He wasnt wearing a viking hat. Fell back asleep.

Woke up around 12 o'clock. Jested with the Germans about how terrible my German is, and how I'll need to get better by the time they leave. Walked around the city for a few hours, gettting my bearings and groceries. Went to find the playing hall, found it, and played against a 1387 Junior. I'd put the game here, but i dont know how to do that yet.

Who doesn't like Smjorvi on their sandwhiches?!

Asked the friendly German's im kipping with if they liked Rammstein. "Nein."

Asked them if they liked David Hasselhoff "JA! HES A LEGEND! Even though hes about 100 years old he is still best looking man around!". Rolled over and went to sleep.

Competition Day 2:

I was paired against GM Hedinn Steingrimsson (2558). I'll get the game here once i work out how to do it. Was an awesome game, I completely messed up the opening, yet managed to flag him in a time scramble!

With each tournament, my dream of becoming Mael Goe draws nearer!

Was far too excited to play the game in the afternoon. Lost to IM Gudmundur Kjartansson in 2 moves. Once i work out how to post games... I wont post it. 

Iceland is awesome, the people are really lovely, and its got a special feel to it, kinda like Hogsmeade.