France, Lille - Day 4

Missing an Ulvi-ous win

Today I was playing against a 2289 rated player called Ulvi Sadikhov. I prepared a really dodgy line that looked like loads of fun - Unfortunately he played a slightly different move order so we went back to makey uppy territory. Got out the opening ok, had a really interesting middle game - A lot of really sharp tactics, one of which he eventually fell for and allowed me to start pressuring. I obtained an awesome position, pissed about for ten moves making no progress, then allowed him a perpetual to draw. Immediately after he pointed out one rook move just wins. Blah.

Nothing too interesting to add from today. All the shops were shut again because its May 1st, no wonder there's so many bloody beggars - if they stopped having holidays and religious rest-days people might actually make some money! I got a bog standard sandwich on the way home from the playing venue, told some beggars to bolt, and now plan to cry myself to sleep. Its another double round day tomorrow. The morning game is against a 2335.

Kecskemét Day 2

Hungry in Hungary.

Tamás woke me this morning about 10am, and after a shit shower we headed to get some food. He told me that the "Food hall" is where all Hungarians eat, so I decided to give it a shot. You pay 750 forint (2 pounds) and you get a huge bowl of soup, a huge bowl of food (There's three options, I had the potatoes and beef one.), unlimited drinking water and unlimited bread. Only downside is the food's a bit naff. It was a nice enough experience sitting with all the Hungarian peeps.

I went to the supermarket today to try and buy cigarettes and water. After asking a few shop assistants ("Up, go up.") I found myself on the roof of the complex - They thought I was asking where I was allowed to smoke. Found four young chappies on the roof who managed to point me in the right direction. When I got downstairs and out the supermarket, they were still up on the roof, gesturing right or left and giving me eight thumbs up when I got to the right door, followed by a big cheer.

I tried to buy two bottles of still mineral water from the supermarket - Turns out they only sell liquid magnesium in Hungary. It looks the exact same, but it tastes wrong, and I'm always cautious about lighting a cigarette after having a drink, as I remember back to fourth year physics when Mr Dunbar showed us how bright magnesium burns and its application in fireworks. 

Got my washing done today and booked accommodation for Budapest. Almost went for a YOLO haircut, but papped it. If I go for it tomorrow I'll write all about it here!

London Classic - Pre-tourney day 1

Underground No No.

A hostel for 10 days in London - what could possibly go wrong? Yesterday I flew from Prague, to Edinburgh, to London. That's fine, flying's fun right? Oh yay a bus ride into central London - easy and relaxing. Boom. Metro Time.

The names of the different tube stops are carved in Elvish into massive moss-engrossed pillars, Which would make it really tough to find out where you were, but since everyone is constantly moving, you just kind of get swept up and dragged like Mufasa did when he was trying to save Simba in the stampede.

Then you've got to decipher if your going north bound, west bound, north north bound west, up down left right A B and start bound, its a total bloody nightmare.

After atleast 30 minutes in the station, and constant, panicking phone calls to Scarlett the Harlett, I found the hammersmith train, spoke friend, and entered.

Abercorn Hostel. 

So I arrive at the hostel, tired, get signed in and that, and come up to my room. Room 110. Crackin' wee room, started on my lonesome, just lay down and kinda dozed. Irish Niall joined about two hours later - he seems really sound, he's here doing some sort of muscle therapy course. His accent is really thick, so i don't understand like 95% of what he says.

An hour later Finnish Jason joined us. Turns out hes doing the same course as Niall - so they sat and spoke about it for a while, or atleast I think they did.

Not sure if I had a shower today or not - You need to hold a button in to keep the water running, which makes washing your hair near impossible. I tried to jam the button in, that didn't work, then I tried standing at a weird angle and holding it in with my side, and almost slipped and died. The water's hot enough though, and its clean.

The first game starts tomorrow - Cant wait to see everyone and play some chess!

Mallorca, Alcudia - Day 6

Day 6

I've been spending hours trying to come up with ingenious puns and funny euphemisms - but to no avail.

Another average day. Had geniune chicken dippers for lunch - along with chips, sweetcorn and Spanish omelette (its like an omelette only bigger and creamier!). Thought id go for it and try a bit of sword fish, but papped it.

Walking to the game tonight I passed a family who had bought them light up flying thingy-ma-bobs from the looky looky brigade. I think it was their first time firing them because they both looked unsure - the dad and the son. The son's shot into the air, then the propeller bits span round and it gently floated down to the ground. The dads shot was more powerful, and for some reason the propellers of his one didn't work - meaning gravity worked its magic and it plummeted, cracking as it hit the ground. I was in stitches!

The game tonight was interesting - I prepped really well, only to forget how to continue at the sharpest bit. Ended up getting a small advantage, which turned into a winning endgame, but I messed it up so bad. A draw was the final result. Double game day tomorrow so I'm going to try and get some sleep. If anyone want's to help the Grovester's cause phone my mobile at 8 am UK time (I've already text you mum, you should know this.)

Mallorca, Alcudia - Day 5

Day 5

Was a good day! Me and peter hit the beach to lap up some rays, its a lovely place and was actually quite quiet. We took a board, but little prep was done. (The chessboard was mainly to attract the chicks.) Its a bit worrying that all the tourist shops in Spain sell massive, hand-carved phalluses on keyrings. Must make for a few awkward family conversations. ("Son, you can have anything in the shop APART from a lazer pen.") 

Had a massive tea when we got back, then hit up the playing hall. I won my game, had a slight advantage from the opening but he made a mistake in time trouble allowing me to win it. Peter C is totally dominating, I think he's going to win the tournament. 

I've made friends with a few looky looky men and Claudia the cleaner, though I still sit in when she's cleaning the room because deep down I don't fully trust her.

Slightly worrying, just had a knock at the door, and when I've gone to open it no-one was there - but they've slipped a Nuts magazine under the door. 

Best result I've had all week!

Mallorca, Alcudia - Day 4

Day 4

The temperature was soaring and I got my usual wake up call ("Kids, You wanna play Water polo meet here 10 minutes!") around ten. Went to get breakfast / lunch, was quite quiet. Turns out the chicken dippers are actually breaded squid. Shuffled some onto my plate but my conscience kicked in before I could finish them.

Played Blitz games on the Internet chess club all day, didn't bother preparing anything solid because I didn't feel that great. I'm not sure if its the copious amounts of tap water I'm drinking or the squid, or a mixture of both. 

The game tonight was interesting to say the least - My position was unpleasant, so I went for some whacky complications and came out better. I made a mistake in time trouble, and thankfully, he made one back. It ended a draw. One point out of four - Its the experiance that counts right? Walked back to the apartment complex in relative peace, gave a drunk Spaniard a cigarette, and played a few more blitz games.

Mallorca, Alcudia - Day 3

Day 3

Its actually day 4, because I fell asleep last night. Anyway...

I just spend 45 minutes trying to come up with a really good joke - then remembered I should probably be preparing something chess wise. I was to play against a Russian 2160. Not the highest rating in the world, but hes Russian, which we joke adds 100 points to your grading and makes you heartless at the board. I tried to play a benoni, which quickly turned into a benono, and in time trouble i messed it up and lost. The endgame was really quite instructive - Its deceptively tricky. (Sorry non chess people)

As black, I thought I could sit my pawns on c5 and d5 and he couldn't make progress. Then I wrestled with playing c4 and d5 - Ke5 - d4 then running the king back, but turns out its just total bollocks and completely lost.

 So, half point out of 3. This tournaments approach is quickly turning from a Swiss gambit into a piss gambit!

Mallorca, Alcudia - Days 1 and 2

What do you call a spanish cow thats on fire? A Flamen'co!

Not just a pretty face. 

Day 0 (Travel day)

And so we begin at Prestwick airport. Flight was a bit rubbish - It seemed half of Scotland wanted to visit Spain, making for a very full plane and a lot of baby screaming noise. Landed and got on the transfer bus. The advertisement said it would take about  an hour - google maps claims its only a 36 minute journey, ended up taking two hours. Got to the hotel and spent another hour in reception. Bored of writing this bit, future blog posts wont include a Travel day. (I spent longer devising this than I did my cracking joke.)

Day 1 (The first day)

Got rudely awoken around 10am by some holiday rep Spaniard screaming something about children slaying a dragon over a very loud sound system. Horrendous holiday music (Fuck off Abba) is then played until 5pm, its kinda cool! Went for lunch, was a little cautious as the place is busy as hell and it was a buffet with terrible reviews, but the foods hot enough and almost cooked. Plus the selection - Burgers, chips, Burgers and Chips, Burgchips, suits my diet perfectly. 

Met up with Peter Constantiou, Hes staying next complex door, his apartments seem quieter and  less youthful. Went over some chess, he taught me some opening theory, I gave him a giggle suggesting moves, then we marched to the playing hall and played our first game. Played against  a 2254 IM, he tricked me in the opening, so I sacked a pawn and got some play - it was a drawn position but i messed it up in time trouble. Headed to bed to try and sleep, seems like I was the only person in the Bellevue complex who had such intentions. People were partying late, with one Liverpudlian (sp?) moron jumping fully clothed into the pool every fifteen minutes. The swimming pool is only about 20 feet away, so I considered throwing and crushing him with the T.V, then remembered I wasn't Brendan Gleeson. 

Day 2 (The day after the first)

Another boring day really. Sat on the balcony in the 27 degrees heat playing 5 minute blitz online and preparing my game against a WGM. Had a cracking lunch (Either Tuesdays are special days or someone important was in town, because they added chicken dippers to the menu.) then went to the wee shop and bought some chocolate biscuits. My game tonight ended in a draw, I messed it up so bad but she blundered in time trouble. Naturally, she was pretty cheesed off. I considered asking her out for a drink after the game, heck I even wore my cleanest second hand T-shirt, but I don't think it would have gone down too well. Walked back to the apartment with a little spring in my step (She's 350 points higher rated than me), declined an invitation to jump into the tall grass with a group of drunk, crazy foreigneese people (They were all men, I think) and am now back on my beloved balcony. Its quarter past 2 here, a fine time to sleep.

Competition Day 9 (Final Round)

The Saga draws to an end

So last night was possibly the worst night yet. I was already on edge with Japanese Jenn acting too stereotypical, only to find that Beleruz Brian was to join us. I wasn't sure if Beleruz was a country or a type of meat, anyway this guy plonks himself on the far away top bunk (Far away being two feet.) and falls asleep within seconds. The snoring begins. It sounded like a kettle trying to boil after being given a ecstasy tablet, sat upon an electric double bass. He would drone on for five or ten minutes, then silence. I remember lying their thinking "Please be dead, please be dead." A big gasp of air and the droning continued.

So this morning we awake, and after speaking for a while turns out he's a really nice guy. He gave me 50 rubles as a present (Crude joke censored to appease mother) and then headed off. I headed for chess, and won my game against a 1675 junior. So I finish the tournament on 6 points out of a possible 10, 16th place.

I've booked a tour tomorrow to go round all the best bits of Iceland, so Ill post loads of photo's tomorrow. 

Competition Day 8

Another Borr-ing draw.

The day started off normally. Breakfast, preparation, Lunch, game. The game wasn't very good - the position was interesting, but I definately favoured my opponents position. He offered a draw around move 15 and I accepted, with him saying he thought i was better! (I wasn't, and the computer agree's.)

Cleaning Claire rumoured of three new Room 32'ers. I got back to find the place still empty - perhaps she lied to me. Perhaps her name isn't Claire. So I start going through the game, chilling out, and a key starts jiggling in the door. Chinese Jenn (possibly Ngyen) enters, and we greet each other. She offered me noodles, which I politely declined, then threw an apple at me. ("Eat Apple Mikey".) She said she's going to teach me some Chinese so I can wow all my friends back home in Scotland. Well, when I get home arn't you guys in for a treat!?

Competition Day 7

It's better to be Loki than good.

My 7th day here? Not sure, it's been so different and enjoyable all the days seem to have merged into one. Older Spanish man and French Finn left this morning, leaving me all on my own for the day. Cleaning Claire and her apprentice popped in to change the sheets, and told me no-one was to join me today. Prepared for a few hours, had some weeto's, then headed to the chess hall.

The game was intense. The middle game brought chances for both sides, but i started going astray around move 30 in time trouble. By move 40 I'd completely messed up the position, dropping 2 pawns and going into a lost rook and pawn endgame. I was cheesed off and decided to make him play it out - He returned the messy favour allowing me to draw it! If in doubt, play it out.

The tournament administrators have been posting a blog as well, and I noticed my name in a post the other day. "stórmeistarabanann Michael Grove" is the quote, so with a quick google translate that word in front of my name turns out to mean "Grandmaster's Banana". For some odd reason, I quite enjoy being a top chess players parthenocarpic snack.

I bought six "light" beers on the way up the road, then returned to an empty Room 32. This'll be the first night of the trip I spend alone. Properly alone. Fingers crossed for the Swedish twins.

Competition Day 6

Its getting Better, but its still not Magni-ficent.

I won the game, messed up the opening but he gave me a pawn, and it was tough for him from there. My opponent turned out to be a really nice viking called Oskar, and he gave me a lift to the shop then back to the hostel. He's also offered me some cosier clothes for going to see the glaciers, which is nice.

Our number grew to three as French Finn joined us. He's been climbing mountains on his own for five days. He asked why I here, I told him I was a lion tamer in a travelling circus. Nah I didn't but that kind of stuff is so tempting ha!

Time to prepare for the game today, its against 2006 Oliver Johannesson. Ill be happy tonight if either;

a) I win my game.

b) I lose my game but Swedish twins join room 32.

Competition Day 5

Eileen joined us at 1 am, After her flight was cancelled due to high winds. She was quite literally mad, so fitted right in. She left at 5 in the morning - That's the odd thing about hosteling, your only meeting people for a short amount of time, so you can act totally different or tell a load of lies and get away with it. Naturally, I thrive in this environment.

Ozzy Beth left early too, but wrote me a poem on my GM score sheet. I'm not sure if its pure genius or complete tripe, either way the gesture was well received. The poem's about Giraffes and Oranges, and doesn't rhyme.

My chess game was the most uncomfortable yet, around move 15 I was thinking a draw would be a good result, fortunately my opponent went a bit wrong and I managed to win it.

Felt lonely last night with only me and older Spanish guy in the room, I didn't get much sleep.

This posts a bit rubbish, here's a nice picture of the view from the 20th floor of "The Tower" (I've been trying to hold off with the pictures until its sunny.)

I'll get better photos.

When I reach the building I always stop and look up, waiting for Trinity to jump out the top window fleeing from a pursuing Agent.