Competition Day 4

I've Thorgotten how to play chess.

FML

1. (Internet slang, vulgar) Fuck my life (expressing despairing annoyance).

Woke up around twelve after not being able to sleep last night, and made some breakfast. Jumped in the shower about half one, came out in my undies to find a new Room 32 lodger. Australian Beth (I guessed she was from Canada, seemed a little insulted) and I sat for the day exchanging travellers tales, jesting about how gay chess is, and arguing wether toads did or did not exist in Australia (They do). Headed off to the chess at half past 4 feeling confident and cheery. I hadn't realised that today, the gods had decided to fuck me.

Outside it was pouring rain with gale force winds. I think i swam / got blown further than i actually walked. Made it to the tournament hall and sat down to play my game. Got confused when my opponent moved one of her pieces in an "L" motion, then remembered this wasn't a Checkers tournament. I lost the game. Lost. No point, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

So after concluding that I'm shit at chess, i start the venture home. The rain is still lashing down, and the wind is... being windy, I stop at a grocery store thinking I'll buy some beer, alcohol always makes everything better. I go in to find some "Light" beer, its like 2.25%. My urine contains more alcohol than that. I ask the store assistant if they have any stronger beer, only to be told I need to buy it from a liquor store. "Okay, wheres the nearest store?" "They are all closed now, they close at 7 pm". I decided 2.25% beer was better than no beer, or urine, so I bought a 6 pack. Although I didn't, because after waiting in a wee queue, with one forming behind, the woman scanned the booze, and asked for 758 Kroner. I reached into my empty pocket. My wallet had fallen out at the Hostel when i was changing my jeans. I apologised and practically ran out the shop.

I continue down the road with the oncoming traffic looking ever more appeasing. I actually forced myself not to look left or right before crossing, hoping some crazy viking O.A.P would knock me down. Turns out they've bastardized the green cross code so that people have right of way when crossing, unless at traffic lights. 

A cigarette to calm the nerves. A gust of wind blew it from my hand into a puddle.

I was waiting for my phone to ring to tell me my parents had spontaneously combusted. Or that my cat had died. (I dont own a cat.)

I got back to the room and started going through my game. I heard a key in the front door, did a little fist pump, and turned around, only to find an older man walk in. "Oh Hi, which bed is free?". 

F. M. L.